Mailer 15b

Feeling da fear, staying there and moving on

Bring your best self to light - August 2009.

You know sometimes life just sucks. Last week I was doing some training with a client (he's self-employed too) and he described how a big chunk of his work had just disappeared. He talked about a builder friend of his who commented on how he would have been better off staying at home watching Sky TV rather than going out building up a business because now the bottom had completely fallen out of his market. He had done good work, treated his customers fairly and had still ended up in the same boat as the builders who had overcharged and ripped people off . A big chunk of my work also disappeared about two weeks ago as well...again due to no fault of my own. It was part of the general cutbacks which are now being implemented in Ireland. Part of me really wants to focus on the positive: seeing the recession as an opportunity to get smarter about how I work, identify new opportunities, see how I can simplify but another part of me frankly feels self-pitying, angry and is howling about how I am a failure...(while I recognise that's NOT the "still small voice" of wisdom and love, it's sounding really noisy at the moment). It's an interesting one isn't it? I want to be true and honest about how I am feeling at the moment...but not turn into a moaning Minnie.

What has been interesting to me though was where help has been coming from...when I reached out for it. (Reminded me of a scene from a Harry Potter movie where one of the characters commented to Harry that if Lord Voldemort really wanted to destroy Harry, he would encourage him towards a path of isolation...and the antidote was to reach out...and ask God/Source/The Universe for help

Here's where help came from:

Friends: My self-employed friends have been so understanding and empathic...wonderful
Consciousness shifting : my consciousness shifting friends have been so generous and helpful in offering to do sessions with me. They have really helped as well.
Books: I found myself reading Julia Cameron's "Finding water: the art of perseverance" in which she talks about looking into the abyss of despair and drink. But pulling back by taking small daily steps.
Staying committed to a daily spiritual practice: So that I am reminded of a deeper connection
Time in Nature: Watching sparrows at my feeder. Seeing the beauty of swallows.

Then from this place, beginning to identify ways to begin getting to grips with the situation. One of the interesting things I did was to write a long moaning self-pitying letter to God which ended up saying "this is what I want" and just being honest, not worrying if it was "spiritual" enough or not. I then asked God to write a letter back to me. Much to my surprise it was full of practical advice e.g.

Cancel/suspend certain payments (which I have done)
Listen to some recordings (of a class Karen Vizer & Perenna Fleming are offering called Almost to Absolutely). Did that too.
Explore ways to bring the social media knowledge I am learning in Social Traffic to a live audience. (Hint: if you would like a 2 hour workshop in Galway/Mayo area on how to get set up on social media - I'm your woman! I love training and IT stuff and I'll work with you around your budget)
Stick with a new eating regime...
Keep relishing and enjoying the leadership role I have in Social Traffic (which hopefully we will be launching this month or early next month) .
Offer consciousness shifting sessions. (The cost per session is �65)

So how can you feel the fear, look it in the eye and then look elsewhere?

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