Hi

I hope you are well. Obedience these days gets a bad press. Generally rebels are seen as more attractive in our Western culture and obedience is generally linked to passivity and mindless slavery.

 

But I wonder if there is another way to view obedience.

 

Recently I went to my first (and probably last!) live boxing tournament. My nephew was boxing and he won his bout pretty easily. I found myself asking why some of them did so well and others did not. The answer from the coaches was interesting. Basically the ones who listened to and obeyed the instructions from their coaches and mentors did really well. The others who just did their own thing were not so successful.

Michael Schumacher (Formula 1 driver) said that he would have obeyed all instructions from the pit instantly. He saw his job as to drive not to devise strategy. In another example if you are following a guide you generally listen to what they have to say and do it. Obedience is an integral part of road safety.

 

At the same time I was reading M.Scott Peck's "People of the Lie" (a study of evil) and in this he analysed the massacre at My Lai (Vietnam) and found that the culture of obedience within the military contributed to the ease and speed with which the massacre happened. And you may have heard of the Stanley Milgram experiments in which people quite happily administered large shocks when told to do so by people in "authority".  Another example of obedience from the sporting world was the scandal involving Nelson Piquet JR (who was told to deliberately crash) to allow his team mate to win.

 

So I found myself pondering...is obedience a good thing or a bad thing? Then when I thought about it some more...I realised there were layers of obedience. And I found myself thinking about what I say to my son when he comes home commenting on what someone said. I always say to him "consider the source". Is this someone who seems to speak sense, who would have your interests (and that of other people) at heart? When you look at their dealings with other people...what do you observe?

It seems to me that obedience is actually an integral part of achieving happiness and success. If we want to learn anything we have to follow rules/guidelines and be willing to trust.

But the issue is who and what we trust. And beyond that,what areas do we trust them in?

 I have people in my life whom I would trust implicitly around relationships but would probably not rate their opinion very highly on evaluating some of the work stuff I do.

Equally I have people whose opinions I respect around work stuff but for whom their guidance on relationships would hold little weight with me.

Even then I would pass their opinion through my own filter of experience. At times this filter works well...at times it means there are things I have to unlearn before I can do something well. But interestingly, it's far easier for me to do this if I trust the person...so there's another layer to the obedience too...Do I deem this person trustworthy? (at least in this particular area). So it seems to me that obedience is inevitable and quite often it does make our life easier (recipes are there for a reason). And it also seems to me that the only people who can break the rules with style are those who know how to keep them very well. Think of some of the great painters!

 

As always, your comments and observations are welcome.

 

 

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